Welcome to the Thunderdome of Digital Marketing
By using Craft Digital's services, you're not just signing up for kick-ass marketing - you're strapping in for a wild ride that'll make your competitors wet their pants. But before we set your market on fire, let's lay down some ground rules.
1. The "No Bullshit" Clause
We promise to deliver results that'll make your accountant do a double-take, and you promise not to waste our time with indecision or "paralysis by analysis." We're here to make you money, not hold your hand.
2. Payment:
Show Us the MoneyOur fees start at $9k per month because turning your business into a market-dominating beast ain't a side hustle. Payment is due faster than you can say "ROI." Late payments will result in us unleashing our accounts receivable ninjas. Trust us, you don't want that.
3. Intellectual Property:
We're Not Here to Steal Your Lunch Money. The brilliant ideas we cook up for your campaign? They're yours. But our secret sauce, our processes, our AI-powered marketing voodoo? That stays with us. Try to steal it, and we'll sic our lawyers on you faster than you can say "cease and desist."
4. Confidentiality:
What Happens in Craft Digital, Stays in Craft DigitalWe'll keep your secrets locked up tighter than Fort Knox. In return, you keep our strategies to yourself. Don't go blabbing to your competition about how we turned your business from a lemonade stand into an empire.
5. Termination:
Breaking Up Is Hard to Do (But Sometimes Necessary)If you want out, give us 30 days' notice. But fair warning: leaving us is like voluntarily stepping off the rocket ship right before it hits the moon. If we want out (unlikely, unless you've turned into a first-class pain in our ass), we'll give you the same courtesy.
6. Results:
We're Good, But We're Not WizardsWe'll bust our asses to skyrocket your business, but we can't control the market, the economy, or your product. If it turns out you're trying to sell ice to Eskimos, even our marketing magic has its limits.
7. Communication:
We're Not Mind Readers (Yet). Our AI is good, but it can't read your mind. You need to communicate with us clearly and promptly. Ghost us, and don't be surprised if your campaigns start looking like they were designed by a drunk toddler.
8. Client Responsibilities:
You Can't Bench Press While We Do All the Heavy LiftingWe'll drive the marketing muscle car, but you need to keep the engine running. That means providing timely feedback, necessary resources, and not changing your mind more often than a teenager picks outfits.
9. Liability:
We're Not Your Fall Guy. Our strategies are designed to set your business on fire (metaphorically). If something goes up in flames (literally), that's on you. We're not liable for any damages unless we royally screw up (which is about as likely as finding a unicorn in your backyard).
10. Modifications:
The Only Constant is ChangeWe reserve the right to modify these terms faster than we optimize your conversion rates. Keep an eye out for updates, or better yet, just trust us. We're not here to screw you over; we're here to make you filthy rich.
11. Governing Law:
The Legal Stuff We Have to IncludeThese terms are governed by the laws of [ Colorado ], because even digital marketing mavericks have to play by some rules.
By working with Craft Digital, you're agreeing to these terms. If you've got a problem with that, there's the door. But trust us, walking away from us is like turning down a winning lottery ticket.
Ready to dominate your market and leave your competition in the dust? Then let's light this candle!
[ July 26, 2024 Version 1.0 ]
Remember, in the world of Craft Digital, average is for amateurs, and second place is just the first loser. Let's crush it!
